Forget Jaguar: Worry About Chest-Feeding

Yes, Jaguar's Finished...But Wait Til You Hear About THIS

A few months after the Bud Lite disaster, which saw the company inexplicably mock its clientele, the British luxury car brand Jaguar seemed to say to Budweiser, "Hold My Beer."

They released an advert about ten years too late and derivative of every woke flash point of the past decade. It had the pink glow of BBC Three, the hairstyles of Richard Ayoade and the gender-bending dullness that passes for fashion only among those so out of touch with reality, so unfamiliar with the zeitgeist…that, well…that they hadn't seen what happened when Bud Lite tried this!

"Copy nothing," read the on-screen motto before an imitative set of lifeless, dead-eyed dullards.

I wonder if this is a key distinguisher between woke and realist. The latter realises that originality is impossible and seeks to build on the accomplishments that came before. This attitude inspires a reverence for our history, institutions and great minds. The former believes in and aspires to total originality. It has to subvert reality and trash everything that came before (in this case, the rugged manly aesthetic of Jaguar) in a desperate attempt to achieve it.

Only by subverting reality and history can a multinational corporate behemoth - known for selling luxuries to the world's wealthiest drivers - has the gall to frame itself as counter-revolutionary? And worse, to believe it does so with originality and flair. The advert is - to quote woke comedian Stewart Lee - like warm diarrhea.

One has the impression that designer Santino Pietrosanti landed at the helm of one of the most successful brands in history with the thought, "This place is in need of change, and I’m the man to do it." And why shouldn't he feel this way, given that his name is Italian for St. Rock Saint? That's two saints in one name.

Talk about nominative determinism!

This guy stood on a podium to lecture brands about woke talking points such as DEI and gender but hasn't explained how he intends to make his cars more affordable for those struggling to put food on the table…those who couldn't even afford the wacky, obscene hair cuts celebrated in his advert.

That's not to suggest that Jaguar should make their cars more affordable. But let's not pretend then that you're a postmodernist wet dream for Marxists, hey? You’re a soulless product of capitalism. Good. In case you hadn’t noticed, we quite like it that way.

But this isn't even the woke talking point of the week.

La Leche League - the breastfeeding charity - has just told St. Pietro de Jaguar: "Hold my milk".

The global charity has been bullying and haranguing its British branch to allow men who want to breastfeed into their communal women's meetings. Yes, you read that right. The organisations founder, Marian Tompson, has stepped down in protest, stating that the organisation has become a 'travesty of her original intent'.

Still, the charity keeps going. Its brilliant idea kills two birds with one stone:

1. It allows men with a fetish for pretending to breastfeed babies to continue harming kids.

A Bunch of Chest-Feeders

2. It provides men with a fetish for watching women in the act of breastfeeding a front-row seat to lactating breasts.

Many men will fit both categories, so it’s win-win. And it’s all with the backing of a charity.

Wait. On second thought, this may not be a good idea.

Brave volunteers at the British charity certainly didn't think it was. They have pushed back, because - well, they're not insane. But - this is genuinely sad - after years of standing up for the rights of women and babies - they've been forced out this week. I’m informed the bullying by those who consider themselves The Good Guys TM was off the scale.

Writer of Trans, Helen Joyce, broke this unfortunate news on Heretics this week. "It's the theft of a charity," she explained.

But what truly shocked me about this case is that -